2) How to talk about what you want & make decisions with others that work for both of you
The first time I showed my mother what I had learned about this topic she exclaimed “But that’s the exact opposite of everything I was taught!”
That was true for me too. And, after decades of watching people try to talk about what they want or address issues, I’ve found this is the norm for most of us.
This is a situation where our biology leads us astray. We are naturally most interested in what we want and less interested in what other people want. But in order to get our needs met consistently over time, the decisions we make with others have to work for them too – without giving up on what’s important for us.
This is a trickier balancing act than it might appear at first. And the path we take during the conversation can make the difference between success and failure in getting the support we want from others. The same conversational elements used in a different order can produce a very different result.
I am amazed and delighted that the skills I teach during this course have made the difference for me between having confusing and ultimately unsatisfying conversations (“What just happened!?!”) to being confident that I can navigate whatever the other person throws at me and guide us to a mutually satisfying outcome. And they have done the same for everyone else who has learned and used them.
During these sessions you’ll learn:
- How to start any conversation when you want someone else’s support or cooperation to do something or to change something,
- How to deal with disagreement or objections from the other person,
- How to find solutions that work for both of you – even when it initially seems impossible,
- How to guide the conversation to use these elements for maximum effectiveness, ease and comfort on both sides,
- How to handle broken agreements – when someone didn’t do what they said they would do. This approach enables you to get what you need and to strengthen the relationship, so your needs are more likely to be met in future.
I help people learn this material in 3 different ways:
This is a good choice if:
- You’ve had a bad relationship experience and you want to learn better skills for communicating and taking care of yourself before you get into a new relationship, or
- You’re in a relationship that you want to improve and the other person isn’t willing to participate in this kind of session.
A Combination of Joint & One-on-One Sessions.
This is a good choice if:
- You and someone else (e.g., partner, parent, child or friend) would like to learn these skills together to improve your relationship and your ability to resolve and prevent conflict, or
- You and someone else (e.g., a friend) would like to learn these skills together to improve your relationships with other people (not between the two of you).
New! Group Course — Via Zoom.
Offered Once In 2023-2024
- January 23 – March 5, seven 2-hour sessions, 7-9 pm Tuesdays.
- Note: If you’re not available on Tuesdays, I’m open to running another group on a different day, as long as we have enough people in each group.
- $347 (+ HST/GST, if applicable).
- Note: If you have studied this topic with me privately at any time prior to the start of the group course, you can attend this series as a review / refresher / update to my latest tips for just $97 (+ HST/GST, if applicable).
- Handouts that outline the overall “roadmap” for successful conversations of this kind even in the most challenging circumstances + handouts covering the what, why and how of each step along the way
- Recordings of each Zoom session so you can review the material as often as you wish.
For the group course, the recordings will include what I share during each session, and each participant will get to choose whether anything related to them is included in the recording – or not.
- Autoresponder – Access to an email autoresponder that you can use to get a copy of the conversation roadmap and preparation questions whenever you want it. I’ve experimented with a lot of ways to make this information conveniently accessible when needed and this is the most effective strategy I’ve found.
- Optional Reminders – If you wish, you can also receive periodic email reminders about the roadmap and helpful times to use it, plus a link to the handouts, and refresher instructions on how to access the auto-responder.
If you are interested in this group program, please click here to send me an email to let me know that, and any questions you have.
If you are interested in working with me privately, or through a combination of group and private sessions, or if you’re just not sure what’s right for you, please schedule a free consultation to discuss your unique situation. My desire is to help you find your way to the kind of relationships you truly want.