No More Painful Conflicts
Do you struggle to resolve conflicts with your partner or your children?
You see them doing things that really bother you but you don’t know how to speak up, or you’re arguing a lot, or you just feel disconnected – sometimes you might even wonder, who is this person? I feel like I don’t know them any more…
You’ve tried to talk them, but things don’t change. Worse, you end up arguing or just being ignored. Occasionally things get better for a day or two, but then it quickly slides back to business as usual.
You really want it to be different
You have this gut-level sense that things could be so much better, but you just don’t know how to get there.
I agree! Like anything truly meaningful, relationships aren’t always easy but they can be incredibly rewarding. I want you to:
No More Painful Conflicts
Six months of individualized, hands-on work with you, or with both you and your partner or child.
To help you learn the skills you need so your relationships with those most important to you can be fun and enjoyable.
What’s at stake?
When relationships aren’t working, there’s a LOT at stake: a lot in the present, a lot in the future, and a surprising amount of financial cost to broken relationships.
Here are the five costliest and most painful things that are at stake, and that great communication skills can make a huge difference with.
You’ve tried so hard – Why hasn’t it paid off yet?
You may have tried many different things to try and make things better – research on the Internet, reading books, or taking webinars or courses. You’ve probably talked to other parents – in person or online – to find out what they think and how they’ve handled things. Maybe you’ve talked to teachers or other professionals to get their advice. But you’re still not where you want to be.
There are four key reasons why you may not have gotten the results you want yet.
You can get there! What it takes.
I wish I could tell you that you could read a book or attend a weekend workshop and everything would be the way you want it. But you already know it’s not that simple.
It does take time and effort to learn the skills you need to resolve conflicts and have the loving, satisfying relationships you want – but you can do it.
Over six months time, I’m going to help you learn, practice and use 8 different skills that will radically change your relationship. This will not be “classroom” learning, but more like a language immersion that you will put to use immediately. You will be seeing changes in yourself and in your relationship during the six months.
Here are the eight skills I’ll be teaching you, and that you’ll be taking on with confidence.
Why I do this work
The quality of our closest relationships – with a partner or with a child – are so key for the happiness and success of everyone involved.
And so many people struggle, not because they don’t love and care for one another, but simply because they don’t have the communication skills needed to express and hear that love and and care when conflicts arise.
And those missing skills affect the lives of people and families down through generations.
It’s so tragic, when it’s so readily fixable.
As a child, I was both lucky and disadvantaged when it came to conflict.
I was lucky because I grew up in a family where, no matter how intensely we fought – and it could get pretty loud and mean – at the end of the day, disconnects were always resolved, and we felt loved and accepted for who were were.
It was only as an adult that I appreciated what an incredible gift that was. I love that I’m able to give that experience to the people who work with me.
At the same time, I was disadvantaged because I didn’t learn the skills for how to get along with people who had learned to communicate in other ways.
I’d argue with them the way I’d learned at home. But then, instead of making up, people left and relationships were permanently damaged.
I wish I had known then what I know now – my life would have been so much easier! And so would the lives of the people who had to deal with me…
I want everyone to have the benefit of knowing these skills for as many years of their lives as they can – because it makes such an unbelievable difference every time we interact with other people, especially when we don’t agree.
How it Works
There are two parts to this work:
A series of regular private sessions, usually two hours every other week for 6 months (both weekday and weekend options are available).
This format works because you’re learning a new language and new skills, and you need continual repetition.
In each session, we’ll reinforce the skills you’ve learned so far, you’ll learn one or more new skills and together we’ll apply them to a real-life situation of your choice.
In between sessions, you’ll be practicing and applying these skills to your day-to-day challenges
At the next session, we’ll celebrate your progress and I’ll support you to learn from your experience, so you’ll be even more accomplished in using the skills in future.
One private day-long session (6 hours on either a weekday or a weekend) on the topic of dealing with negative emotion.
You’ll learn the steps for shifting “negative” emotion to positive. And I’ll support you to apply them to a challenging situation of your own, so you can experience for yourself the powerful difference they can make.
You’ll also learn how to make this shift “stick” over time.
I chose this two-part format, after working with clients for years, because it balances the cost/time commitment you’ll need to make in a busy life, and is still effective for your learning.
So that by the end of our work together, you’ll have both learned the skills and resolved some of your ongoing conflicts.
Also included in the program:
Handouts that include step-by-step instructions for each skill, and explanations of when, why and how to use them, with space to add your own personalized notes, so you can easily review these examples later.
Written notes from your sessions, showing how you applied each skill to a specific challenge in your life.
These notes are also a great reference to use when you have the real-life conversations you want to have.
Three Options for Learning this Work
Which of the following best fits your situation?
Choose this option if you have one or more unsatisfactory relationships but there’s no one big conflict, things just need to get better overall.
This option includes the private day-long training session plus 6 months of ongoing training and support. The investment is $3497 (plus applicable taxes) or 7 monthly payments of $499 (plus tax).
Choose this option if you have what I’ve described under option 1 above and there’s also one major topic that’s been a sore point and could be a breaking point in one of your relationships.
This option includes the private day-long training session and the 6 months of ongoing training and support for one person, plus support to have a conversation to address that one major topic, including support for you to:Prepare for the conversation. Have the conversation to find a solution that works for both of you. Run a follow-up session to check that the solution is “sticking.” Debrief the experience to solidify what you learned, appreciate your unique strengths, and identify the most powerful things you personally can do to improve your conflict resolution skills and your relationship.
The training, dialogue and check-in process typically takes 8 months. The investment is $3900 (plus applicable taxes) or 8 monthly payments of $497 (plus tax).
Often in these situations one person is really motivated to get help and one person isn’t, in which case you are often better off going with option 1 or option 2, rather than trying to convince the other person to participate.
But sometimes both people are in alignment that yes, we need to get help, and that’s what this option is designed to support. Because when both people are truly willing to learn and work together on their relationship, things can get better much faster and with greater ease for everyone.
This option includes the same 6 months of training and support for each person as the two options above, using a combination of joint training that allows you to learn and practice together, with just the right amount of individual training on topics that (experience has shown) work better done one-on-one.
PLUS support to have a conversation to resolve a key issue between you, including support to:Prepare for the conversation. Have the conversation to find a solution that works for both of you. Run a follow-up session to check that the solution is “sticking.” Debrief the experience to solidify what you learned, your unique strengths, and the most powerful things each of you can personally do to improve your conflict resolution skills and your relationship.
The investment for this 8-month two-person option is $4997 (plus applicable taxes) or, if paid monthly, $646 (plus tax) – $323 each (plus tax).
It’s So Important – So Worth It
Just a single day of mediation for a single conflict could easily cost over $5000.
In contrast, with any of these three options, you’ll be collecting the rewards in all of your relationships, at work and at home, for the rest of your life.
And if you have children, they and your grandchildren will also receive life-long benefits from knowing how to prevent and resolve conflict and collaborate effectively with others, without giving up or giving in.
Interested? Let’s talk…
If what you’ve read here appeals to you, let’s have a conversation to talk about your unique situation. There are two steps to this:
Not ready to have a conversation, but have a question for me about this program? Click here to send me an email.
Whether you choose to speak with me or not, I wish you relief from your struggles so you can enjoy your most important relationships to the full!
After pressing “submit” you will automatically forwarded to the booking page.
 https://www.fastcompany.com/3059481/7-reasons-why-emotional-intelligence-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-job-skills, citing the World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs Report and a 2011 Career Builder Survey of more than 2,600 hiring managers and human resource professionals).
Return to the section I was reading above