Enjoy life more with this one simple sentence
(Time to read: ~2 minutes)
I’ve been amazed and a little discouraged by how much of the time my automatic mind spends judging.
Judging events, judging myself, judging other people. It consumes my energy and drags me down.
Sometimes I tell myself “I have to stop judging so much!”
The problem with this intention – however admirable – is that it is unrealistic (what NVC calls a “non-doable” request).
So what can we do?
The research on habits and our brains suggests that once a brain pathway is there, we can’t get rid of it (at least not in the short term).
What we can do is to build a new habit, starting from whatever triggers the old one.
What do I mean? Here’s an example:
I’ve been noticing that as soon as I see someone, my mind automatically goes into judgment mode – my “old habit”.
It takes only milliseconds for our brains to decide whether someone is threatening or friendly.
And we have a built-in “negativity” bias – so we automatically see a lot more threats than friendly faces.
The state of the world now starts to make a lot more sense to me…
The New Experiment I’ve Been Trying
The trigger for my old habit is seeing another person.
So the new habit I’m trying to build is, whenever this happens, to focus on them and silently say “I wish you well”.
Will You Join Me? What Do You Notice?
I invite you to try this yourself and see what you notice. Click this link and share your experience. (have this link go to the conflictsolutionsatwork.com email page)
I look forward to having your companionship on this journey!